Inner Children in the Grocery Queue

My son turned seven this past week. It’s hard to believe that seven years can go by in what feels like one.

I’m struggling a bit with this quickening of the clock, so lately, I’ve been stealing glimpses of his face, catching hints of the baby that he was just a few short years ago.

I can still see that gorgeous newborn. His original, God-given package of humanity, remains unashamedly in place, on display for the world to see.

His unique curiosity and preferences, his easy, effortless, and shameless expression of the energy that fills his mind and body.

He was and still is vulnerable. He embodies true strength, courage, and belief in his power. Most young children do.

When I think of adults that I know or even those that I meet in passing, I can see that their expression is not easy or without shame. Their vulnerability is not apparent. There is no ease. Their power and strength are not of the quiet, confident kind.

They are not comfortable with themselves, therefore they are NOT themselves.

They lack ease because they no longer hold their original package. Maybe they themselves set it down somewhere because it was no longer safe to hold. Or maybe it was forced into hiding by the hand of some adult desperate to avoid the uncomfortable glare of their own reflection in that shiny and pure surface.

There are lots of reasons a child loses touch with who they really are. Have you lost touch with your original self? Do you know why?

So now these adults live with a borrowed package, an imposed identity that, in the best-case scenario feels inexplicably uncomfortable or in the worst-case scenario, is a life-blocking, soul-crushing defense conjured up by the subconscious in the face of unspeakable abuse.

Despite being forgotten or hidden away, our original state, our inner child still exists somewhere within all of us and it is to our collective advantage to acknowledge this in one another.

Why Should We Envision the Inner Child in Others?

I will give you 3 big reasons.

1. It Breaks Down Barriers.

Kids don’t give a shit about social constructs like money, status, or rules around skin colour , etc. If you’ve ever been around young children, I’m sure this is something you already know.

They couldn’t care less about what brand of shoes someone has or what their house looks like. They are there for the energy and ideas that they each bring to the table.

If we can envision someone’s inner child, we are in a sense returning to a time when we saw others as just another human without affiliations.

2. Being Compassionate Becomes Easier.

It’s hard to be compassionate sometimes. People can be annoying AF, they act like idiots and try our patience like there is no tomorrow.

Envisioning someone as a kid helps take the idiot edge off and gives us extra patience. Not too many people are born unbearable, they become that way for a reason and it usually happens during childhood.

If you can see the innocent kid in someone at least for a minute, it’ll give us pause and a chance to interact with a bit more patience and understanding.

3. We Stay Connected to Our Own Original Selves.

When we envision the kid inside someone else, we make it easier to find and connect with our own deep selves.

There is no reason why we can’t apply the same insight and ask the same questions of ourselves when it comes to how we grew up and what was in our original package.

When we aren’t at our best, reminding ourselves that we may be experiencing separation from our deep selves is a good way to avoid getting bogged down in guilt and self-loathing.

It’s also a good way to ensure that we are living the most happy and productive life possible.

How Do We Envision the Inner Child in Others?

The easiest way to get a peek at what someone might have been like as a child is to simply ask them about their childhood.

Of course, the question will need to suit the circumstance, you’re not going to want to walk up to a stranger and ask them “So what was your life like as a kid?”

If it’s someone you don’t know very well, a simple “Where are you from originally?” usually does the trick and if they seem open to talking, you can then say something like; “what was the best thing about living there?”

Questions like these create an instant connection based on a time when the person was most likely closer to their original self than they are now.

I like to study their face as well. I do this quite often with strangers while I wait in line at the grocery store. I imagine away their furrowed brow and pursed lips. I picture them laughing and happy.

I look at their posture too. Or the way they move. If you take some time to study the psychology behind certain postures, it’s pretty interesting how many things our posture reveals about us.

A person that chronically holds their shoulders up around their ears for example, was perhaps heavily criticized as a kid. That sort of thing.

Consider what their body might be saying about their past.

I think it’s a very cool thing when we can take the time to envision someone when they most likely felt good about themselves and about life, especially if they clearly don’t feel that way now.

I'm sure you've noticed that this world isn't exactly all rainbows and ponies at the moment.

Anything we can do to ease the suffering of others and ourselves is probably worth doing.

The next time you are feeling less than pleased during an interaction with someone, perhaps you could try taking a moment and envision that person as a 7-year-old.

Picture them smiling and free of the burdens that they carry today. You might be surprised at what happens.

Thank you for reading. See you next time.

Laina

PS - If you’d like to chat more about this topic please feel free to book a call with me.

PSS - For some not-so-common tips on dealing with anxiety, be sure to check out my free guide.